“Sometimes, the biggest secrets you can only tell a stranger.”
― Michelle Hodkin, The Evolution of Mara Dyer
What I write here are often the truths I can only tell strangers. Although many people I know read them, it is easier if it is the stranger I imagine writing for, safe in the knowledge that the only truths they will ever know about me are the ones I choose to tell.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I don’t write and why. There are some things that are part of Zoe’s story that I only touch on, mainly to do with my relationship with Zoe’s Dad and the man I was seeing when Zoe died. Those stories are only half mine to tell and my half is no doubt different to theirs. Heck even my perspective on the truth of those stories has changed over time.
My grandmother always used to say that there are three sides to every story – his, hers and the truth. Often there are even more. How could I put my truth out there without inviting them to tell their side? Without inviting judgement.
Recently I read a piece on the Brevity non fiction blog by a woman who was compelled to write her own truth, the good, the bad and the ugly, only to pay a price for it when it became clear that she was regarded as someone else’s secret. Perhaps telling your secrets without fear of judgement is the bravest thing you can do. She is perhaps a braver woman than I.
So for now, some secrets will remain.
Retro Girl & the Chemo Kid 
It is so much easier to be transparent and tell those “secrets” when it is a stranger. There’s so much I’d like to write about but would only want a stranger to read.
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Strange how we have such an urge to confess, even/especially to strangers. Makes me think of that website http://postsecret.com/
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I think in writing it (even if not for someone to read) helps get things out. We no longer have to carry it around as a secret. A way of healing of sorts. Still scary though. And how much to share and how much to hold back is always the question!
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Sharing something on that level is so hard to do. Being new to blogging I struggle with it every time I write. Thanks so much for bringing this topic to light.
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It’s hard to know how much to share and how much to keep private. I’m sure it’s different for everyone and depends on the topics you blog about.
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I know exactly how you feel. I’m mulling over writing a post on my relationship but I know it will only be my truth. I think that I will, but I don’t have anyone I know following my blog so I guess it’s different. I would encourage you to write it down anyway, there’s no need to put it on here. You may just need to get your feelings out. X
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Some things I have written down and it definitely helps. I recently removed about half of a post after hovering over the publish button for a while. I have saved that separately to think about for a while.
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Is that Zoe on the picture of your header???
Also, do what your heart wants you to do although listen to your brain when it’s thinking of something. You don’t want to do something you’ll regret, but you always need to take care of your insanity before you die with a broken heart.
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That is beautiful Zoe on my header. I think these days when I’m listening to my heart I wait a while to see what my brain thinks about it 🙂
Although I’ve processed a lot of my feelings by writing and posting publicly on this blog, I’ve made peace with some things having to stay in my heart.
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